查看完整版本: 我的感触（水平不高，有错误请见谅~~）

我的感触（水平不高，有错误请见谅~~）

u always don't know what I am thinking,looks like you don't know why I hug you to flow the tear.The tears are so burn,but the temperature can't temperate my innermost's cool feeings even though they are hot.Do you know how many grievances I withstand?Actually, I am not a strong girl.I hope regardless of happen any matters, you can give me a bosom to enable me to be possible to depend upon.I had said that you were a king in my heart. But how does my king let me so sad? Actually I really very want to know these answers: If you return to the prosperous life, can you miss those days with me jostle the bus? If one day I do not at your's side, could you familiar with the life which not have me? If some day we have separated from each other, can you remember me when you gaze fixedly at another girl's eyes ?Dear, because of you I may become very much brave ,then please treasure me well

楼主真的是厉害，我对英语不甚精通，不知个中三昧，不宜妄自评论，过来支持一下楼主了！

非常汗颜，楼主还是高中生啊，多练习练习还是好的。我来纠正你几个错吧
u always don't know what I am thinking,looks like you don't know why I hug you to flow the tear.
后半句缺少主语，难道主语也是U？不能中文直接翻译 的。
innermost 你再查一下这个词我不确定
I hope regardless of happen any matters,
of后面接名词或名词性从句，后面不能用逗号。
enable 的用法是错误的，非常的不恰当特别是在整个句子里
can you miss those days with me jostle the bus
挤公车改成名词形式
If one day I do not at your's side,
完全错误的一句，at用错，而且不能your‘s
could you familiar with the life which not have me?
你是想说思念吧？miss就可以了
If some day we have separated from each other
将来完成式不会用就不要用
I may become very much brave
最起码是braver吧
treasure me well
不恰当

综上所述，你的帖子需要好好修改，建议楼主多看看英文的文章的句子用法，你现在还是典型的中文语序中文写作思维，不过小小年纪就写成这样很不错了。不会的词要用金山词霸的时候最好看一下例句，很多词都是大学词汇但是你都用错了。
还有英语上的什么问题可以PS我，当然更简单的是版主，他们会无私的帮助你的

English？I hate English, hope Chinese can replace English as soon as possible...
And we may try our best to use the simple english...
otherwise i will kick his ass...

我也来捉只虫：
『Actually I really very want to know these answers』
「I really very」是错文法的，有点画蛇添脚...
写成「Actually I really want to know these answers」便够了...
若真想加强语气的话，大声点说便可以.. :lol:

多谢各位大侠指教 小弟受教了 （真是汗颜 ！）

看来还要回家接着啃书本了 呵呵

风月运老兄说的是，英语里really 和very 可以连用，但在这里不合适

对英文一无所知，羡慕楼上的英豪，向你们敬礼！